Turtle Talk: Nitpicking Ninjas

So there's a new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles trailer--or should I just say...Ninja Turtles. I wasn't very thrilled with the first trailer, and this one leaves me equally weary of the film. This trailer, however, gives us some closeups of our Mutant heroes. So check out the trailer then check out my screen grabs and thoughts below.

Post by Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Let's break it down character by character.

Let's talk about the good first. Leonardo, despite the nostrils, looks pretty good flipping over Megan Fox. He looks fierce with his katanas and his bamboo chest armor reminds me of Rufio which is cool. He's the spirit of the team--sort of the Captain America of the group--and so far his body language in the first couple of trailers captures that.

 

More good in this movie may come from Splinter, my second favorite of the TMNT characters. All we get is a cool sword twirl but it's not too fast or fancy and looks about right for Splinter's advanced age. Master Splinter is my favorite part of the original TMNT live action movie. He gets kidnapped but ultimately saves the day and he does it all with dignity and grace. This film has big shoes to fill. I'm not enthused over Tony Shalhoub as the voice of Splinter but I won't fully criticize it till I hear what he does with it. Hopefully this movie doesn't have Splinter doing flips like Yoda and respects the character's age and limitations.

The last bit of good comes from the canister of the ooze. In the comics and animated series it's created by TCRI but in the movies it's been TGRI. I can't quite decide in the photo which one their nodding to, but overall as a plot element it shows an appreciation for the older audience and shows that this film is grounded in TMNT lore. What do you think it is: TCRI or TGRI?

Now for the bad.

I don't like an evil white man being Shredder, especially some roided out monster shredder. Unless of course that man is Kevin Nash as the Super Shredder.

The Shredder is supposed to be a Japanese badass. He's a ninja that has murdered and killed other ninjas he's survived amongst badasses and is only thwarted by meddlesome Turtles. He's not a scientist that made the Turtles. His role shouldn't be white washed. So this is, perhaps, where I come to the biggest blockade in my enjoyment of this film. 

Raphael is my favorite character in the TMNT. I identified with his brooding anger for some reason as a little boy, and I think I look quite dashing in the color red. He's the turtle who sort of drives the plot in the first TMNT live action movie and is usually the source of conflict that makes the team dynamic and entertaining. I'm disappointed they haven't given him a cool trailer moment other than smashing into a car on purpose. I want a Raphael close-up and one-liner in the next trailer.

Next up is Donatello, the brains of the operation. They're not exactly going for subtlety in this movie so Donnie has to be covered in technology to show he's a "Tech Guy." Donnie suffers from far too many accessories including glasses to indicate that he's a nerd. He's also physically different from his bros with a set of buckteeth. I bet you they'll make him clumsy too, just to complete the nerd cliche trifecta. It's as if the higher-ups that made this movie thought the turtles looked too much alike despite their multi-colored bandanas, so they threw in some accessories to make them all stand out and look different. They are Ninjas. Ninjas are stealth. They don't need a backpack full of tech. They have ninja skills.    

Last up is Michelangelo who has been featured prominently in the advertising thus far. He was the first Turtle we heard speak and his voice was passable. My main beef with him is his shell necklace. He's a surfer dude, so he needs a surfer necklace. Saying Cowabunga would've sufficed. We don't need to turn him into C.J. Parker.

Overall at this point in time I just can't see myself buying a ticket to this movie.

What do you think of what you've seen so far? Are you going to buy a ticket to see this movie or sneak in?

(DISCLAIMER: Vundablog does not advocate sneaking into movies nor do we admit to ever doing so ourselves.)